Ooh that sounds to be one of our favorite game. Yeah because we can consider ourselves as a winner.
“Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us” – Eric Hoffer
The blame game means declaring someone or something responsible for a fault or wrong. This game has been responsible for massive fights, frustration and unhappiness in our human society.
This article shares our insights on Reasons for Blaming, Why should we stop it?, and how can we stop doing it?
Why Do We Blame?
Blaming is quite common but understanding the reasons behind it may help us to deal with it.
- Fear to Admit
In our society mistakes are considered as failures. And if you are a failure you will be disrespected. This fear of failure and disrespect will never allow you to admit your mistake and it is more likely to put the blame on others.
- Social Ranking
In the society Blaming makes you relatively more good than the person you blame. You win in the “social comparison” method of social ranking. “If the other person is at fault I am comparatively better than him”.
Many a times people try to take control over others by blaming them. They may not only aim to make other realize their mistake but also tag them as unproductive, selfish etc. so that they may direct the culprit to do something in their favor.
Sometimes we are terrified with the situation. We are angry, panic, helpless and disturbed. At this time, we find blaming a solution to restore ourselves.
Blaming is contagious. We often learn to play this game from others. For e.g. A child watching his parents fighting and blaming one other for the situation, an employer blaming his employee etc. Ultimately, we are not taught to take responsibility.
When a person does something wrong we confuse ‘the deed with the doer’ which makes the person feel less worthy of respect. We say ‘You as a person have failed’ instead of just ‘What you did was wrong’.
Why should we stop Blaming?
You never win in this game. In fact, research shows that the people who blame others learn less and perform worse in comparison to people who own up their mistakes and responsibilities.
When you blame you are running away from your feedback which is an obstacle for your personal growth.
Blaming traps, you into irresponsibility, avoidance and fear.
Ask yourself “If the other person is responsible for your failure, is he also responsible for your success”?
How can we stop playing the Blame game?
- We humans are imperfect and instead of fearing from our mistakes we need to focus on learning and move on. “We are defined not by our mistakes but by the way we correct them”.
- When an unexpected situation occurs try to analyze the situation and think of ‘What to do next to resolve it’
- Speak to a person whom you think is really responsible for the situation to help him learn from his mistake and not humiliate him.
- Accept your mistake and responsibility which can create a good example for your followers and stop the blame game from emerging.
- Pour out yourself by honestly interacting with people who can help you to correct your mistake.
- Accept the fact by breaking the wall of ‘I am right’ and ‘You are wrong’.
- We all make some poor choices in life and so when someone does something wrong it doesn’t mean that he is a bad person as whole or deserves less respect.
Accept that you live in an imperfect world where mistakes are bound to happen by you and others as well.
So Try to make things better and Stop Blaming others for it.